anyone up for casual sex, ice cream and crying?
i’m up for two of the three
HI :) I'm Cathie, I am a fairy, nice to meet you. This is my personal blog for the things in my head that I can't say outloud, if you think I'm whiney or attention seeking or what have you feel free to not look at my blog :D
thank you, mysterious sunglass person, you are fabulous and I’m sure beautiful also x
thank you that’s nice of you :)
so i’ve been a bit absent recently. i took an overdose on friday in an attempt to end my life, unfortunately i didn’t get away with it, i was taken to hospital. I was rendered unconscious, a tube was put down my throat, i vomited whilst i was unconscious and it was aspirated into my lung. So I had to have chest x-rays and IV anti-biotics. I got discharged despite me being really mentally unwell, so the next day I went into respite, it was not fun, I’ve been miserable, disappointed that the OD was unsuccessful, just wanted to go home, I was poked into staying a few nights, it didn’t really help, didn’t really feel able to talk to the staff much.
On Monday I scammed the GP into giving me a week’s worth of medication with the intention of ODing again, but for some reason I admitted it to the support worker and it was confiscated, I haven’t been allowed my meds all week so I’ve been withdrawing which is yuck, along with the lung infection I feel really physically yuck. I haven’t been able to sleep and when I do I have horrid dreams, I find not being able to sleep SO frustrating. I can’t eat cause I feel sick, can’t breathe whilst like walking!
With everything else that’s been changing RE my support workers I’m just totally fed up with it all. I’ve been feeling like I’m going to burst into tears all the time, I did in the hospital, a lot. Mega cringey cause I felt like all the nurses thought I was being attention seeking, most of them were nice, one was a total bitch. As usual the psychiatrist was awful, she said I wasn’t safe to be discharged so I needed to see the crisis team, I explained that the crisis team make me feel awful and have said before that they can’t help me. So the NHS continue to fail my mental health needs.
stuff is really difficult at the moment. i’m trying my best, but ultimately i don’t know if i will make it.
that overcomes you once you have decided and planned to end your life.
For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that “unless you love yourself, no one else will love you.”…The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation